Deeper Still

I find myself dwelling on 
the things I've done to you
How you've reacted on the outside
Wishing I could see deeper still
Wondering where your thoughts lead
If I were to cross your mind
During the days ins and outs & ups and downs
I suppose it is narcissism 
This idea that I do at all
This wondering if I am welcome
amongst things that hold priority
or am I swept away
Am I a break in your day?
I have made you smile 
I have seen it
I find myself wondering
If I make it linger
A thought rebounding into abstract
Somewhere between
What was and what could be
I find myself thinking about you
In the quiet of the night
the thoughts of you 
weaving in and out between 
Invention and what's real
Letting you linger in my imagination
Pretending you are thinking of me.
~a
2/4/11